Once there was a boy named Satya, meaning “the truth”, who lived in a part of Pakistan when the country did not exist and was a part of India. He lost his father when he was 8 years old and was outcast from his family home along with his siblings and mother by the larger family. He started working in a candy shop to support his family and pay for his school fee.
After India became independent from the British rule in 1947, and was partitioned into India and Pakistan, Satya was evicted from his home along with his family, and like many other immigrants, settled in Delhi. Satya started selling books on the street and continued self-education by reading books on varied topics.
When I first met Satya, he was in his early 40s and owned a book store. Soon we became close, and over the years he shared with me several of his life stories. Once he told me about an incident that changed his life.
When Satya was still struggling to set up his business, he became acquainted with a minister at a convent school who wanted to buy some books from him for the school library. The minister told him, “Meet me tomorrow at 6:30 am in the school library with all your books and I’ll select the ones I need for the library.”
The next morning, Satya boxed all the books, tied his books to the rear rack on his bicycle, and rode to the convent. He was late by 5 minutes. He went inside the library but the minister did not even glance at him. After 2 hours, Satya approached the minister and said, “I am here with my books, Sir. Do you want to look at them?”
The minister looked at Satya and said, “I asked you to come at 6:30. You were late by 5 minutes. I do not trust people who do keep their promises, and don’t respect time. You can go now and come when you have learned to respect time.”
Satya was shattered. The next day, he woke up at 4:30 in the morning, tied his box to his bicycle rack, and rode to the convent. He reached the convent at 5:30am that day. The library was not yet open so he kept his box on the steps and waited for the minister.
When the minister reached the library at half past six, he saw Satya sitting on the steps. “You are here! How long have you been waiting for?”
“Since 5:30 am, sir.”
“Well, come inside, son”, said the minister. “Now you know the value of time.”
That day, the minister bought all the books from Satya and also ordered more for the next month.
For those of you who are wondering, Satya was my dad. When I was growing up, he would always tell me, “Value time. If you are not punctual, no one is going to respect you or take you seriously. If you don’t reach the bus stop on time, your school bus is not going to wait for you. You’ll have to reach on time and wait for the bus.”
There are many other stories and incidents I remember. My dad was a stickler of hard work. He would often say, “In the developed countries, people work like donkeys and live like kings, but in developing countries, people want to work like kings and end up living like donkeys.”
One other thing he taught me was to never be inquisitive about how much is in someone else’s wallet. He would say, “Instead of thinking about how much money is in other person’s pocket, learn to live with what you have in your pocket.”
Being the youngest, I was more attached to my father than my siblings. I could rely on him for anything and everything. Whenever I had any problem, I would run to him. Most of the time, he would guide me through. Sometimes, we took out the coins and I-Ching, or Tarot cards, to see what fate had in store for me. He would always tell me, “Everything will be all right. I might not be there for you for as long as I’ve been for my other kids, but I’ll always be there for you for as long as I can.”
Now my dad is history. But history repeats itself. Being a parent, I’m on the same pedestal that he was. However, with time, your outlook changes. Today, I pass the same learnings to my daughter, but with a twist.
It’s important to be punctual, but sometimes being a little late gets you more attention – especially at a party. But don’t make it a habit.
Work hard but don’t work like a donkey. Spare time for some fun. It’s important to work hard and play hard.
Money is not everything, but money is important. Don’t be afraid to plan and work smart to reach a position when you don’t have to worry about how you are going to pay your bills.
I cannot always protect you from what is wrong. I cannot stop you from making mistakes. Sometimes you’ll have to endure pain. I might not be there to hold you tight, and say everything will be all right. I’ll be damned if I walk the walk for you, but you can always lean on me.
In the end, being a parent, it’s my prerogative to build on to the life lessons, so there is one coming straight from me. “No matter how many times you kiss a toad, a toad will always remain a toad. Never ever kiss a toad, but someone who respects, cherishes, and loves you.”
As I said earlier, history repeats itself. One day, my daughter might be repeating the story coupled with her own life experiences. “Once there was a lady who lived in Georgia….”